I was at a women’s meeting a couple weekends ago, which was great by the way, but at one point in the meeting someone alluded to marriage and kids being the highest achievement a woman can have. What about those women who aren’t called to be wives and mothers?
There are more women than men and even if you are okay with polygamy- I personally am not but do you baby do you- everyone can’t be the first wife or even the main wife, and please don’t get me started on the glamorized mistresses and accepted side chicks. And for those of us who aren’t down with experimenting, if you get my drift….well, honey you do the math.
Many of us do hope or rather see ourselves in those walks of life but what if we don’t aspire to become a wife and mother? What about those women who aren’t equipped physically to have children? Just because God may not have blessed their wombs doesn’t mean He didn’t bless them -plus, everything isn’t always God’s doing but that’s another story. What about the wives who aren’t mothers? What about the adventurous couple who live on the edge and the concept of having kids never even popped up in their minds? Or how about the career woman who travels the world known as her oyster freely? What about the girl who made decisions, wrong or right, which led to the gifts from God known as children who grew up with her babies in a sense but never became a wife? Is she less than because her ring finger is without a ring?
People always equate my love for cooking and baking to preparation to being someone’s wife and somebody’s mom. Why is it that I can’t just enjoy the kitchen? Because I do. I absolutely do. As women, often times we think “I’ll be happy when ___________.” Are you going to be happy if your life isn’t what you thought it would be? What’s funny is that a lot of what we think it’ll be like doesn’t even stem from our own dreams. It stems from perceptions and other people’s implications. I’m all for planning for the future -I mean according to my people I’m obsessed with planning- but when are we going to stop and appreciate the here and now? The Word tells us that tomorrow will worry about itself, so why are you?
Yeah, so I thought I’d be in a different position than where I am currently but does that make me less than? Dream. I won’t even say big or small because I don’t want to categorize your dreams by those terms. No matter how miniscule or grandiose your dreams are perceived, dream freely and bodly with love and it’ll be great. Just don’t get hung up on societal constructs and allow God to have room to work. My mom didn’t expect to get married and have kids yet she did. If you expect to get married and have kids, will you be okay if you don’t? If your answer is no, why not? If it’ll just be you for the rest of your days, what will make you enough? When answering these questions, consult with God. Because he knows…
If no one has shown you today, I love you but God loves you better.
-K.T.B.