That vision was now about to become a reality, but I was just going to New York I was going during fashion week. That in itself was such a blessing and so exciting. Although I was overjoyed with excitement I was filled with uncertainty as well because we would be driving. Fabio and I don’t do road trips at all! So to prepare I literally rested my body up until it was time to leave.
I also need to thank you for breaking me down, physically, mentally and emotionally. I would not be the STRONG WARRIOR THAT I AM TODAY. Most days I don’t even know where I pull the strength from to even function when I need to but I do it. I have the strength to accept that not every day will be a great one but it’s still a day and that was kind of hard when we first starting dating but as time went on and our relationship progressed I learned some of your pros and cons and how to handle them.
How can I have a shoot outside, if it’s raining and windy? Not to mention the rain causes a major flare up. So, on top of already being exhausted, and in pain… the rain intensified that pain to the max. But, I couldn’t stop. I had to make sure my vision was executed properly. I had to figure out how to mask the pain.
I may have limitations on what I’m allowed to do but sometimes having fun and enjoying life is worth what it’ll cost me; probably a hospital visit or a few days in bed.The woman that I am today is strong, mentally. It takes a lot of mind control to not let your illness break you. I won’t lie it does knock me down but I never stay down.
Grieving or being sad is something I have to learn to do or not do in most cases. I’ve been to a stage in my health where I didn’t think I would make it to this year’s birthday and from then I vowed that I would never jeopardize going back down that road.
I’ve experienced pain in my life before but never this extreme. Some days I wake up and I can’t even move to get out of my bed. Other days I just stay in bed all day because my entire body hurts so badly and the only comfort is being balled up. Along with this comes many sleepless nights. Some weeks I don’t sleep for nights at a time because I can’t get comfortable and the touch of the sheets on my skin hurt.