Let go and let God. Sigh, that phrase again!
I mean every time I called someone for advice when I was going through, it seemed like that was either their first or last sentence. It bugged me for so long because I didn’t get it and I wondered if the people telling me this even got it or was it just another cliche. You know at one point in my life I was really damaged and broken. I had been in a relationship that took a toll on me mentally and spiritually. I remember hating myself, and everything this man said I was or was not I started to believe. I’m not special, I’m fat, I’m crazy, I’m insecure, I need professional help, I’m not good enough; I mean I could go on and on. The point is he put that in my head and spirit so much that it started to manifest.
Pain doesn’t even begin to describe how I would feel, try disgusted with my life and just over it. When I decided it was time for that situation to end it was HARD. Crazy how someone can treat you so bad yet it’s so hard to let go right? Toxic attachments are real. I had many crying nights and even had thoughts of harming myself because I didn’t know how to cope with being abused and let down once again.
One day with a fist full of tears I prayed and I prayed hard. That was my new beginning. I felt so much relief and I as I prayed more I started to feel guided and safe. I love this feeling; it’s refreshing, it’s peaceful, it’s joyous, it’s NEW! I had to redeem myself, ask for forgiveness and also forgive myself. I know it sounds like a cliche but the reality is Letting go and letting God literally saved my life…Now I get it!