Y’all already know how I feel about boundaries. I love learning about them, so I can properly implement them in my life to eliminate doubt, overthinking, and unwanted energies. Last summer, I started Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab, who I found through Instagram with her amazing, informational posts, and recently finished it. This book easily breaks down what are boundaries, why you need them, and how to implement them in your life.
You cannot change people. You can ask that they honor your requests. And if they do not, you have choices.Nedra Glover Tawwab
Set Boundaries, Find Peace In Your Life
A boundary is a diving line stating what you will and will not allow in your life. For example, asking guests to take their shoes off in your personal space/apartment/house is a boundary; it’s something you prefer and are asking others to respect and follow your customs. Within the book, Tawwab gives very clear and defined definitions and examples of how to set and implement boundaries, while instilling + keeping the peace in your life.
Boundary Lessons & My Take Aways
I loved this book because of its simplicity and the grace I received from it slowly working more of the boundary practices into my life. Three of the lessons mentioned are:
- Setting healthy boundaries implies clear communication followed by action and mutual respect.
- All mentioned have to be done together or it won’t work — there’s no halfstepping this part.
- Impose consequences on those who overstep your boundaries.
- Once you implement those boundaries and, after some time/communication, they are not followed, you have the right to add consequences. This will help those realize that the mutual respect aspect was broken and will allow things to be either corrected or reevaluated from your point of view.
- Knowing your limits can help improve your self-awareness.
- Let’s find peace in our lives for what we want and need and not what others want. Create the life you want that allows you to be your authentic self, which includes people that accept you, and experience what you enjoy.
While boundary setting is way more than just setting, it takes commitment and a decision to follow through with what you say you want and need. To learn more from the author herself, listen to Redefining Wealth with Patrice Washington’s podcast episode with Nedra Glover Tawwab.
Let me know in the comments below if you have boundaries clearly defined in your life or if you need more additional resources to help get you there.