It’s that time of year again – as a single woman moving from the hot summer to the cold winter, it can be challenging for several reasons. Recently, the term “Cuffing Season” was coined for this time of year, and the rules have been applied. I will walk you through my interpretation of maneuvering through this season as a single woman.
Cuffing Season: The Playbook
Usually, the beginning of cuffing season begins around August where you’re “scouting” your potential team players. By September, you’ve watched your potential winter beau enough either on social media or out and about, and you are now ready to start “Drafting,” just like in sports when players are deemed worthy and picked to try out for a team. It’s the same in Cuffing Season. You’ve watched how you’ve narrowed your options down a bit by filtering out the ones who have no personality or conversation skills, the ones that move too fast by either wanting to be physical too soon or maybe a bit crazy.
October
By October, the chill has started to hit the air and so has the “Netflix and Chill” texts, so now it’s “Try-Outs” time. This is the time where your best of the best is pulling out all the stops to woo you, and you in return are doing the same because you’re feeling them a bit as well. This, in my opinion, is where a lot of women go wrong. We tend to stop at this stage and prematurely commit to our favorite guy before really taking more time to get to know them or the intentions. When you date multiple men, you do not have to sleep with all of them or ANY of them. Read that again. It is important to get an understanding of who you are and what you like in potential partners, and the only way you can truly discover this is by a bit of variety. That does not mean overindulge or take advantage. Honestly, it’s MOST important in dating because you do not have the right to reserve a person for yourself, and you’re not fully ready to be committed or righteous to that particular relationship.
November
By November’s “Pre-Season,” you have your 1st round draft picks, you’re dating regularly, and you’re getting to know them better. Your affections can change at any time and that is okay. Again communication and honesty play the largest role in dating. Understanding you BOTH are single matters. It’s very important not to fall Into habits that can confuse the situation. This is another mistake that’s made. Giving relationship vibes to a situation that isn’t a relationship nor has it been discussed.
My advice to this is to be aware. Do not do sleepovers and be intimate if you’re not emotionally mature enough to handle unfavorable outcomes. Sex doesn’t equal a relationship neither does a lot of time spent. It’s okay to be unavailable at times and make sure you make the most time for yourself and the life that you live outside of dating.
December
If you’ve made it to December and the New Year, you have full-blown participated in “Cuffing Season.” You may notice at this time that some of your prospects have started to dwindle down or fade out. That’s fine. It’s been 5 or 6 months of regularly seeing a person(s) you can now start to see what type of future you want in your life.
Evaluate the following:
- Are they better as just a friend?
- Do they lack components you need in a mate?
- Can you see a future?
- Do you want to continue to learn more about this person or do you want to just end the friendship all together because there is no real substantial value in it?
Post-Season
At this point, you’re running into Valentine’s Day. The lovers holiday and you don’t want to be caught out here giving or getting the wrong impressions. So by all means, check-in with each other and have fluid conversations about where you stand. If you do this continually throughout the winter months, you will potentially find a mate, a good friend, or just enjoyed being single. For those who don’t want to date or participate in “Cuffing Season,” that’s perfectly fine as well.
Take the time to enjoy fall and winter fashion, yoga, personal goals that require your undivided attention, etc. My point is whatever you do and whoever you choose to do it with, make ensure it’s YOUR CHOICE!!!
“May the odds ever be in your favor,” and that’s the way ShayMo Sees it.
