Welcome to My Virtual Couch, where we don’t judge. Please have a seat! My Virtual Couch is a space to unpack the real-life BS our favorite television shows, movies, and other outlets have shown us that we weren’t quite sure about.

How many of you could relate when Maya (yes, Golden Brooks’ character from Girlfriends) said “Girl, black people don’t go to therapy. They go to church.”

Normalizing Therapy

SECRET: I love Girlfriends and that’s pretty much all I’ll be talking about for the first segment of this series. There is nothing wrong with taking steps to be the best version of yourself, even if that means talking to someone outside of your circle about you and what you’re feeling. This is not to say don’t go to church or don’t pray – you can to go therapy and talk to Jesus. We should be normalizing therapy, not shaming it. Let’s work on changing the narrative from Maya’s viewpoint on therapy to Joan’s “I’m black and I go to therapy.”

Please don’t wait until it’s too late and you are having a meltdown in a dressing room or having security called because you stalked Beverly Johnson, like Toni. As black women, we have a tendency to lean on the phrase, “Work twice as hard to half as good.” This mindset is not only exhausting but anxiety-provoking. This saying is not just true in the workplace but has found itself oozing into our everyday lives.

You Don’t Have to Be Superwoman

My Virtual Couch is a safe place for you to say “I’M NOT YOUR SUPERWOMAN” and yes, here it is okay to sing that song (by Karyn White) loud and off-key as well. It’s okay to take your cape (and mask) off. It’s now time to shift focus to you in this new year because you are no good to those around you if you’re not good to yourself.

Let’s all be honest – this pandemic sucks! It has introduced new feelings that most of us weren’t ready for and often leave us saying “I can’t deal.” For the single, it’s the feelings of isolation; for the married, it’s the feeling of where’s my safe space; and for the mother, it’s the feelings of blurred days with no end in sight.

Create Your New Normal

So how do we translate this new normal into the future selves we have always envisioned? The simple answer is, do it but the reality is there is a lot of work that goes into fully actualizing the person you want to be. So the truth is, you have to do the work. The good news is, you don’t have to do it alone. I’m here to help – let me change your mind.

JenniferTheTherapist

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