Who’s Sitting Where?

Let’s play a game. Let’s pretend that your life is a Broadway play. You wrote the screenplay, hired the stagehands as well as the best director in the game. There’s only one thing left to do and that’s to sell tickets for this event. Now you have to decide who to sell the tickets to, how much the tickets will cost and what the seating options will be.

So let’s talk about the seating options.

We have the front row, the mezzanine, and the balcony. Who gets to sit where and why?

Think about relationships that you’ve had in the past, romantically or your favorite homegirl and think about where these people fell in your life. Most times we give people access to the front row when they’ve only earned space to be in the balcony, or better yet; wait-listed. I’ve had some great friendships that have mutually come to an end but I’ve also had some that didn’t end so well. Most of the time when friendships end on a bad note it’s because someone expected something from someone that they weren’t willing to give themselves. Whether that’s respect, time, effort, attention or honesty.

When you think about seating options people who are in the balcony are pretty much in the
introductory phase of your relationship. You may have met them at work or this may be some new guy that you’ve been introduced to. You don’t mind these individuals being around, but you don’t know them like that for them to be so close to you and to be all up in your business. Now, mezzanine seats are some nice seats. You’re going to pay a bit more for these seats because you’re going to have a great view and are going to feel a bit exclusive. These are people that you like a lot. You have laughs with them; they are familiar with your family and know some of your business. You want these people to be present in your life because they mean something to you and you mean something to them but there are still some boundaries that you have established around this group of individuals.

Now let’s get to the front row. And I mean front row like Beyoncé front row. Standing room only but you don’t care because when she takes the stage you don’t plan on sitting down anyway! Now, let’s be clear. Front row tickets are free, but free in this scenario does not mean that there is a lack in value. If someone makes it to the front row of your life’s production, they have paid the price two-fold and have no admission costs! People who have made it to the front row know real shit about you. They know how you were raised, they have nicknames for your siblings, and they know that one funny story about your cousin that said not to feed your man on paper plates. They know that one bitch that you can’t stand and they know how much you love your man but want to punch him in the face when he tells that one story for the 20th time. They know your fears, they know what makes you laugh and they know that you hate glitter and anything shiny. These people are in the front row of your life because they are your biggest supporters even when you don’t believe in yourself. For that reason alone, they deserve to be in the front row.

Now there is a chance that these roles rotate. There may be someone who has been in your front row for years but then they take you for granted or stop doing their part in the relationship so the front row ticket holder can fall down to the balcony or even the waiting list. This also means that there can be people from the balcony who show commitment and loyalty which earns them a spot in the front row.

Life happens and no things or people stay the same (and really they shouldn’t). If we stayed the same, we wouldn’t grow or learn and change is inevitable so you have to adjust or be the only 37 years old still talking about high school.

I guess my point in bringing this up is, don’t force people to take a position in your life that they haven’t earned and don’t push people away who have been your biggest supporters. Actions tell you everything you need to know about where you stand with the people in your life and be sure to treat them accordingly. Expectations should be applied based on what someone has shown you. If someone shows you inconsistency, they don’t get a ticket. But make sure that you’re doing your part for people to WANT to be in your front row!

Don’t force people to take a position in your life that they haven’t earned and don’t push people away who have been your biggest supporters.

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