Chile, I tell ya, life for me ain’t been no crystal stair! Whoever’s mama, granny, or auntie Langston Hughes channeled when he wrote that poem…! I wanna get in a time machine and give mother a hug and lay at her feet and glean from her strength! When I tell you life has been handing my behind to me these past few months in THEE most disrespectful way! It is an Acts inspired miracle that I manage to get out the bed everyday.
I could send evites to my little pity party and have tasty little snacks (because of course snacks make any party worth attending) but the way my introversion is set up…plus, it won’t even change a soiled diaper, so there’s that. I could seek ways to justify my frustration and irritation and end up in the same cycles over and over again; OR I could choose a different perspective and seek the lesson in all I’ve been going through.
Speaking of cycles, I was talking to my cousin recently about Facebook memories. I always found it to be a really cool “back down memory lane” type thing but I started paying close attention to my moods current day in comparison to my moods on my memories of the date. It really tripped me out to see the evidence of the cycles I find myself in. I knew they existed but to see it in first person POV is something sobering and a tad scary. There are times where it’s been word for word, verbatim expression of how I feel on the very date year after year. I needed to sit in that for a few.
I’m deciding to live in the moment. Not yesterday or yesteryear’s moment, not even tomorrow’s moment. The whole concept of ‘being anxious for nothing’ means I don’t focus my mind or squander my peace on what negative possibility tomorrow could hold. Give us this day our daily bread is SO much more than a snippet in what we know as the Lord’s Prayer, it’s a reminder that,
One– Focus on today. You’re allotted a portion for the day and tomorrow will take care of itself (also bible).
Two– It’s a reminder, in my opinion, of the Lord’s provision because the Israelites were given specific instruction not to take greater portion of manna (the supernatural provision of GOD) than was needed for the DAY. If they tried to get more, it would be worms in the morning.
*Message* Anxiety is for the worms and worms play a major role in breaking down dead organic manner. In other words, anxiety is a dead matter! PERIOD! Another little addendum is that mercies are new every morning so don’t waste today’s mercy worrying about tomorrow when there’s a brand new portion coming for that.
Here’s the thing that literally just kinda got me together; Wallowing is a manifestation of pride! The self-absorbed, “woe is me”, “why me?” is putting all the focus on self. It’s ultimately positioning yourself to feel as though your issues take precedence over the multitudes of challenges, issues and concerns that millions of other people face. Things are really trying for me lately, but there are people who face way worse far more regularly than what I’m going through right now.
In times like these, know that it’s not the end, just a transitional phase. In times like these, be mindful to redirect and shift your focus on the truth, not the feeling but the truth. Oftentimes we erroneously make truth and feeling synonymous when they are completely different. My feelings are fickle and subject to change at any moment. For this reason I have expelled “my truth” from my vocabulary. I don’t have ownership of truth, but I own my feelings and have the power to change them as I see fit. You do too.
From the heart, I will not have you ignorant.