20s and Relationships

Hey, there boss lady,

Happy Black History Month! It’s been a month in some change that we have been into the new year, how are you making out with your goals? If you are not where you want to be, please do not be too hard on yourself. Slow and steady wins every time. Speaking of goals, what do you deem some of the most important goals to work on in your life? One that I find important especially as you navigate the 20s is healthy relationships. During this stage of development, we are thinking about our relationships, romantically and platonically, and having long-lasting “ships” with people are our top desires.

Healthy Relationships in Your 20s

Do you know what it takes to have a healthy relationship and why it is important? First and foremost, those that we surround ourselves with tell outsiders a lot about us. They say we are a percentage of those that we associate with – meaning, if you hang around individuals with a ‘go-getter’ mentality, you are most likely to have one as well. If you surround yourself with lazy individuals, you most likely are lazy.

I mention this because we must be mindful of who gets our time and how our association with these individuals affects our lives. When you take care of yourself, you make great decisions. Last month, I spoke about the importance of investing in your mental health while navigating your 20s. Taking care of yourself and knowing what you need is crucial. You no longer hang on to things that slow you down or keep you amongst toxicity; you can attract the things that you desire. For example, I used to want friends BAD. I wanted to go on brunch dates and have adult sleepovers with matching pajamas, but I chose people that did not invest in the friendship that I wanted so badly with them, nor did they exemplify any of the characteristics that I possess.

5 Reflection Questions Before Creating Relationships

When I looked at the social part of my life, I felt empty? Why? Because I was always pouring out and overcompensating for the things that I did not have. I had to get to the bottom of it, and gratefully going to therapy helped. Now when I think about who I consider being in my “circle,” I want to know a few things:

  1. How do they make decisions?
  2. How do they take care of themselves?
  3. What is their mindset like?
  4. How do I feel when I am around them?
  5. Will this relationship be two-sided?

As you continue to create the life that you desire, don’t forget that what you feed and surround yourself around will hold great value. Do not be afraid of change. Embrace who you are becoming and challenge yourself to new things and people (all good things I may add). You are not missing out on anything that does not serve you well.

Sis, I hope this was refreshing and helpful.


Coach Tysheira

About author


Tysheira Maddox is a licensed Social Worker, certified trauma professional, certified life coach, and Philadelphia native who has received a Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology at Eastern University and a Master’s in Social Work at Temple University. While having to navigate adulthood with few tools and guidance but managing to survive, she created Leave Inspired, Inc to provide Personal Development Coaching and Consulting services to support Black women and Black mental health. Tysheira is dedicated to helping Black women, emerging into adulthood, overcome self-limiting beliefs and execute their life and career goals. Knowing that the 20s are difficult to navigate because there are life skills needed and guidance while transitioning from adolescence to adulthood, she provides Personal Development Coaching to help Black women gain clarity, build confidence, and execute consistently.