As I get older and a bit wiser in my approach to negativity, I have been noticing my reaction to a certain form of interaction. It’s called being Nice-Nasty, and it’s levels to it. I’m going to try my BEST to break it down because there’s a lot of Nice-Nasty I don’t like.
What is Nice-Nasty?
The Urban Dictionary defines it as “is a way of responding to a negative situation, more specifically, a comment, which is equal parts nice and nasty.” However, I’m noticing this isn’t the only form. I see Nice-Nasty as killing a negative person with kindness. For example, if a coworker doesn’t care for me or always has a shady comment, I can be nice nasty to the person. By doing this, it’s known that I caught the shade being thrown but we are at work so you can’t catch these hands. So in turn, I politely check you with “As I previously stated’ or “No, that’s not going to work” – that lets it be known, I’m no pushover and I will remain professional and pleasant.
What I am seeing is full-blown fake positivity being cast throughout the world via social media. Maybe this isn’t new. I’m almost positive that it’s not, but it’s new to me. I never noticed how much people pretend to be nice, trustworthy, and safe. I started to notice how women in particular do this. When reality television started to really take off with celebrity dirt, that’s when I started to see that some people who pretend to be nice and uplifting are really TRASH. That’s so disheartening. When you have influence in your community and can reach the masses, it’s very sad to see women promote positivity and gain a following from the “positivity’ and being a terrible person on the inside still hurting people for whatever your unresolved issues are.
You Need Community
No, I’m not saying you’re supposed to be perfect, no one is. In fact, everyone is entitled to a bad day, heck you will have a few bad days. Bad seasons come, but this is why we need to form a GENUINE community. That is what I have been learning over the years. Your tribe and the company you keep is not only a reflection of you but also a safe haven for you when things take a negative turn for you as well. What does this mean, ShayMo? Glad you asked, You can NOT fake nice and be nasty to people that you may need in the future.
Having people around that will love you and check you when you are wrong is VITAL. You can disagree or when you see that the person you love is being destructive to themselves or you, as being a positive form of motivation you as Aaliyah crooned let them know. You don’t diminish the person. I personally feel this passive-aggressive form of communication should just be DEAD. If you do not like me but we have to work together, having a respectful working relationship requires no additives. I don’t need nor get anything from outsmarting you or being quietly disrespectful. We are adults. Communication whether it’s at work, in social organizations, relationships, friendships, etc., proper communication is the most effective way to address issues.
The Takeaway
As a woman who promotes other women, I now see the magnitude of my words and actions. As I grow my platforms, I become more aware of my attitude, my words, and who I allow in my space. If you interrupt my peace with negativity, I can’t be around you and vice versa. If I am not your cup of tea, please remove me. But I will not drag or gossip or attack you, then get on social media acting like I’m Inyala Vanzant. People see it and it’s not cute. The housewives of everywhere display being NICE-Nasty, and the world has adopted this behavior. I may not have started with them, but it’s definitely taken off in the more recent years.
So, I’ll leave us all with this. In this life, things come back around. Some call it karma, some call it second chances. The point is what you put out in some way shape form or fashion, you will get back. It’s very important to put your best foot forward when you can. It’s also very important to be kind enough to yourself to acknowledge when you are full of negativity and feelings of anger to deal with yourself. Seek help, either from a professional or your tribe, but don’t spew it out. Don’t cover it with nice when the nasty is present in you.
We all are human, which means we are imperfect, but it costs you nothing to do right by yourself and others. It can cost you everything when you don’t.
And that’s the way ShayMo Sees It!