After writing my boundaries post and hoping to do the work, I’ve been getting my life together to live purposefully with no regrets. And I’ve noticed, healing takes time – more time than what I originally thought.
EVERYTHING TAKES TIME
Communicating your boundaries is HARD – well at least it was for me. I’ve spent most of this quarantine downtime still working (unequivocally grateful), catching up on tv shows and movies, and making time + space to reflective journal every day, which has been extremely eye-opening than usual. I’m investing the time and energy to dig deep into my past memories and relationships to find the root causes of certain situations.
In my journey, I thought I’d been creating useful, healthy boundaries. But I still lacked some in areas that I should’ve been constantly growing in. Now we all know how life gets a hold of us, things transpire, then we stop – that’s what happened to me.
One particular situation led me back to reflecting on my current boundaries while setting new ones. I noticed I casually practiced boundaries but would be upset or frustrated when they were broken. Typical, right? The lack of communicating those boundaries led to those feelings.
DOING THE WORK
Along with soul searching, I’ve been reflecting on my past decisions + current situations and doing the work. I mapped out a plan to not only re-establish the boundaries but effectively communicate them to others.
Some of those boundaries look like:
- Saying no (period) without feeling guilty – understand this is a complete sentence
- Taking time for myself to reset and recharge
- Checking how I react in situations and taking the time necessary to respond
- Honoring my needs and communicating them directly
Also, I’ve been in therapy, and it’s honestly one of the greatest investments I’ve made. Having a professional to talk with, who dives deep into your issues and helps you figure out the why behind it, is an amazing feeling and helps me analyze the thoughts already racing through my mind.
REINFORCE BOUNDARIES
After you write those boundaries, continue to reinforce and redefine them. A close companion recommended this Boundaries book to me, and it’s been a game-changer. With scenario examples, the book vividly explains why boundaries are so important. I’ve been using what I read to help redefine my boundaries and enforce where I am lacking. I’m currently 5 chapters in. I’ll do a book review post once I’m done.
SO WALK THROUGH YOUR HEALING
Healing:
- Is ever-evolving
- Takes time
- Is the root to your growth
It doesn’t stop when you think the issue is healed. And even when it does, you find another area of yourself to heal as well. Self-awareness, self-care, and self-love keep the evolution of healing in progress. Never neglect them.
Don’t let your boundaries, or lack thereof, deter you from setting them. They are still crucial to healing. Even if you break them, start over, give yourself grace, and keep enforcing them.
TAKE YOUR TIME
Don’t let a pre-determined timeframe from you or someone else distract you from boundary setting and enforcement.
