GOOD Girl with a STD

At the beginning of each year, I outline my goals and a consistent goal of mine is to have great vaginal hygiene. I’m passionate about this because I believe it is the most precious thing on earth. I’ve grown to know its worth. I cherish it, so I take care of it but there was a time when I didn’t, which led to how I became the good girl with an STD. I had the health classes, heard horror stories, watched the movies on Lifetime but still fell, victim. I was a virgin until I got to college so I was naive and never took that stuff seriously. I had an attitude that those things could never happen to me because I was a “good girl”. So here I was beginning my college career, starting a brand new chapter in my life, one that was supposed to be exciting but because my father was terminally ill, I suffered emotionally tremendously.

So I figured maybe sex would ease the pain.

I chose to lose my virginity to somebody I was fairly close with and had known pretty much my whole life. During the encounter the person removed the condom without me knowing. Falsely thinking it would ease the pain, it ended up causing much more damage than I could’ve ever imagined. I remember the next day being in church, balling my eyes out,  praying for forgiveness, walking to the alter thinking my life was over and fearing the worst.  I had really just freely given away one of my most prized possessions to someone that didn’t even have the decency to protect me. So one day we had an argument and he goes you’re going to hate me I have HIV. I felt my heart fall to the pit of my stomach. Then he said I’m just playing but of course I didn’t believe him. He wasn’t trustworthy.

He removed a condom without my consent…..

So I distanced myself from him. I feared getting checked out and just expected the worst. So I went a year thinking I was dying of HIV, losing sleep, depressed, hating myself because this was a huge hit to my self-esteem, and wishing that I would just die. So finally a year later I got the courage to get checked out. I didn’t notice any signs of anything but I was finally ready to face the consequences. So I went to my exam then nervously waited for the call. I get a call in the middle of my workday and was informed I had Chlamydia. I’m like wait nope not me I’m the “good girl” what do you mean. Although I was thankful the disease was curable, I was completely torn. Regretful because of course, I studied WedMD like my life depended on it. I saw the damage it can cause the reproductive system and I feared the possibility of not being able to conceive. This showed me that it only takes one time for a life altering event to take place. I wasn’t promiscuous, I was raised with both parents, I had morals, all of the “good girl” qualities yet I still fell, victim.

When you’re sexually active the best and most important thing to do is to get tested together and be monogamous because you never know what people have been exposed to. There’s a misconception in the community that if a girl is pretty or classy that she’s free of STDs. This is a very dangerous assumption. I’ve been told “you’re pretty” “you’re classy” “you’re educated” even “your house is clean so I bet that is too.”  Also when women request condoms there are men that snap back with the “Oh you think I got something” and get offended. There’s also a misconception that condom usage makes sex less enjoyable (which we all know is trash.)  Ask yourself why are men still ejaculating if it’s so dissatisfying? My hope is that one day these misconceptions are eradicated. So please protect yourselves. I’ve chosen to protect myself through celibacy. This method gives me the most peace. I’m not married and there’s a thing called free will so I can’t control the actions of another human being. Abstaining from sex not only protects me physically but mentally and emotionally as well.

I was asked, “aren’t you going to be embarrassed after you post that?” Heavens no. Thankfully I’ve been publicly embarrassed enough causing me to have thick skin. I have nothing to be ashamed of. I’m STD free. I’m happy. I’m confident. I’ve learned and grown from it. My assignment now is to spread awareness and normalize conversations about sexual health to promote STD prevention. Since I had an STD does that mean I’m not a “good girl” anymore? To society, possibly. But I have no desire to be a good girl because I’m a great woman.  How I see myself and how God sees me is ultimately the only thing that matters.

So here are some fun vaginal hygiene tips that work for me !

  1. Abstaining from sex.
  2. While I was sexually active I visited my OGBYN DR Jeremiah Whittington (248-353-9460) at least once per year. If I sensed something was off I visited an urgent care facility.
  3. Don’t douche. It can alter your PH balance and lower the acidity, which can cause infections. Please research this if you don’t believe me.
  4. I shower twice daily and change my underwear daily. Learn what material is best for you (the kind that doesn’t cause too much moisture.)
  5. I eat a balanced diet.

Thank you for reading! I love you! I’m here for anybody that has struggled with this. Whether you caught something incurable, need encouragement to go get tested, have questions or just need someone to pray with! I’m here for you and can be contacted via email @ limitlesslovee@gmail.com

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originally posted on limitless lovee