First, I want to start by saying that I’m still a little “uncomfortable” with being this open and vulnerable but I know that great things happen in the midst of discomfort.
So… today, I just need to vent and get some things off my chest. Not everyone that has fibromyalgia has the same symptoms or side effects. For me, my body doesn’t respond well to stress whether it be good or bad stress my body will completely shut down and I’ll end up down for a while or in the hospital. Thursday was a very trying day. It was my aunt’s funeral and I wasn’t able to attend. It just really sucks because I wanted to be there for my uncle and cousin. But, I know what that stress of being emotional will do to me. Even thinking about it, my body hurts and begins to tense up. Most times I feel as though I’m being selfish because the pain they are dealing with, doesn’t compare to what I have going on.
Grieving or being sad is something I have to learn to do or not do in most cases. I’ve been to a stage in my health where I didn’t think I would make it to this year’s birthday and from then I vowed that I would never jeopardize going back down that road.
Stress will kill you, I was almost a victim.
And about this weather…
I never understood why you would hear elderly people say “my hip or my knees hurt, it’s going to rain” but I do now. I can always tell when the rain is coming because my bones ache like no other. So… on top of the rain, add cold weather and I feel like my bones are going to just break in HALF. It hurts to walk at times or even stretch my legs out.
HOW DO I STAY SO POSITIVE THROUGH DAYS LIKE THIS?
Well, it’s not easy – that’s for sure.
1. I have joined support groups on social media for people living with this disease.
2. I pray, pray, pray and pray some more.
3. I work on my styling company which brings me so much joy. Out of all this hell, that was my piece of heaven that God gave me to keep me sane. Literally, whenever I don’t feel good and have the strength, I’m creating fashion boards, researching, making new boards on Pinterest or just coming up with ideas for my brand.
4. Sometimes hot baths help ( and at times nothing has really helps, so I take my meds and sleep the day away).
5. Days like this, I miss my dog, Foxxy. She always comforted me and snuggled with me. Funny thing is when I don’t feel good I always dream of her or hear her footsteps, and feel her comfort.
Until next time, remember I may have fibromyalgia but it doesn’t have me... Masking the pain isn’t always easy, so yes I’m in good spirits and tell jokes but when I’m at my lowest my spirit has to be at its highest… Sometimes those jokes aren’t only for you, they’re for me, too.
#KEEPSTRUTTIN