Candidly SpeakingHER THOUGHTS

GIRL, You Need to Lose That “Wait”!



And don’t try to correct my grammar. Yes. I said, “Wait”. I know you immediately thought that I was talking about those extra pounds that we tend to hide under those yoga pants and hoodies. And I know it for a fact because I love me some cotton blend hoodies to hide this pouch. So we’re in this together. This, however, isn’t the “wait” that I’m talking about. 

The meaning of “wait” is to stay where one is and delay action and the meaning of “weight” is the heaviness of a person or thing. Even though these words have different meanings, when you think about it, they’re kind of synonymous with each other. Let me talk about my personal struggle with weight. I can’t tell you how many sets of box braids or sew-ins or cornrows I’ve gotten in preparation of going to the gym and getting this weight off. Those calculated styles that I got for a purpose ended up being hairstyles to be cute. Going to the gym on Monday turned into Tuesday then Wednesday and so on. Somehow the entire summer goes by and I haven’t checked in at Planet Fitness once. My heart, as well as my jeans, told me every day that I needed to go but I just didn’t have the energy. I always seemed to convince myself, “it can wait until tomorrow”.

So here we are. Waiting getting in the way of my weight. 

Over the past year or so, I’ve had this unshakable feeling of “blah” and when I say blah I mean blah! I’ve tried so many things to get out of the funk. I’ve shopped, I’ve gone to some of the best concerts ever, I’ve laughed, hell, I’ve even cried. You know a good cry from time to time can be cleansing but nothing has worked. Normally I’m full of optimism and can truly be the most positive person ever, but I just haven’t felt like myself. Well, over the past few weeks I opened up and talked to a few friends of mine about this and to my surprise, I wasn’t alone. This made me wonder what the hell is going on, for so many people to be in this funk. Summer recently ended so it couldn’t be seasonal depression so what is it???

During these conversations, I had to acknowledge that my “blah” feeling was actually coming from almost every place in my life. The biggest culprit has to be my job. I’ve been with my current company for 13 years and although I am grateful for having gainful employment for such a long period of time, my time there expired at least 5 years ago but I haven’t left. I now call it a 9 hour per day errand that I have to run, to try to digest the responsibility while knowing that it drains me every single day. Not sure what I’m waiting for, but I’m still there. I’ve developed some great relationships and have learned a lot but it’s just not fulfilling. Outside of work, I have some great friends and family who are supportive and driven but who are also going through these blah feelings. We all pray and ask for guidance and act like we don’t know the answer. But we know the answer, suck it up and move forward!


Waiting makes you feel like you’ve gained weight that you can’t lose.

Well, because you are hauling resentment, anger, frustration, anxiousness, and uncertainty. These things rest in your head and your body and shaking them is hard. For me, I’ve had to acknowledge what I was going through … was real and wasn’t just a mood. Once I realized what I was going through, I sat in it so that I could understand and process. After that I said…


I’m now making strides to change some things in my life. Yes, I still have to work and earn money as I have a family, but I don’t have to sacrifice my well-being to do it. Money can be the biggest motivator for unhappiness but there are bigger issues that can weigh on you as well. Family, relationships, friendships, etc. can all place you in a blah position. We have to acknowledge the feelings and then address them and take action. If you’re not happy with something, you have to take action. Sometimes the action is, waiting but don’t let waiting turn into complacency. If you want an opportunity, make the opportunity and don’t wait for it to come to you. If you want to date that guy in those gray sweats, ask him out. If you’ve had a lifelong friend and it seems like the relationship is fading, don’t wait until the candle burns out to address it and if you’re in a relationship that is taking more than its giving, don’t wait for the person to see your value. 

Waiting is when you don’t know what to do. Don’t use the act of waiting as an excuse when you have your answer, because you’re only prolonging those pounds from falling off physically and emotionally.

No more waiting!