Dear Sis,

I saw Issa Rae’s tweet last week, and I wanted to get your opinion on it:

How do you feel about today’s love songs and comparisons with the old songs? Do you have any tips on how I can bring reciprocity to my relationship?

Reciprocity Feedback

Music is definitely different from the days of male R&B groups who gathered in the desert begging their girl to come back home after being gone an hour. Lol, reciprocity doesn’t have to be tricky to bring us the feeling of 90’s R&B, but it does have to be communicated. Tell them or show them. When you communicate in such a clear and concise way it serves multiple purposes. For example, it’s always quality time spent that helps bring you closer and beyond that, it sets up a constructive conversation. Note, I did not say criticism for a reason. That reason being is when a person is vulnerable with you, you never want to hurt their effort. Instead, highlight the things that stick out in a positive light. Affirm your partner with praise when they do something to make you feel good by telling them just that. This also can help with the partners that are a bit more reluctant to being open and thoughtful. Personally, I’ve experienced a great deal of anxiety in the past by being worried about how to show my mate I care about how they enjoyed so

Somethings I’ve orchestrated. It takes some pressure off when you can talk about things that keep your fire burning. Show them the way to your romantic heart. In efforts of teaching your man how to treat you, it’s important you treat them with the same energy you want to see and experience. Picking up on what he likes and what makes him smile instantly. Men may not admit it, but they like to be taken out as well as wined and dined. When I’m in a relationship, it’s very easy to fall into a routine. You have to make the effort to never leave romance or thoughtfulness on one person. One-sided relationships grow sour quickly and replace love with resentment.

Be present in your relationship, if you lead by example to one another then learning will come naturally.

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