Written by Shayna Moorer, guest STRUT Contributor
My good, good girlfriends and I often joke and say, “Instead of trying to make America Great Again (because it’s never been great for MY people but different story, different day), let’s band together and make flirting great again.” Not the creepy cat mouse I want you but you don’t want my type of flirt or the Steve Urkle “I’m wearing you down” type of flirting. I’m talking about mutually-interested flirting. In my experience, because I definitely can’t speak for every woman in the world, flirting has become a lost art. It’s like men and women forgot how to make one another feel good with their clothes on, and I’ve been trying to figure out why?!
As pre-teens and teens, we were introduced to flirting. You know, staring your crush down until they feel you looking just to wave and smile, or practice some type of way to get them to notice you. My point is we learned to put effort into showing someone we liked them. Some people were blessed to be dripping with charm and can literally flirt with ease, but others had to work at it! And somewhere along the way, it’s been put on a shelf.
The excitement when exchanging witty flirty banter with someone you find attractive and they reciprocate that same energy is important when you’re either trying to get to know someone or in a relationship. It’s important because it physically expresses interest and makes the person you’re flirting with feel wanted.
Some of my favorite old-school artists had flirting down to a SCIENCE. As women, our flirting with men is equally important when we need to make our affections clear as well. Anita Baker crooned “Cause you’re the FINEST man I seen in all my life” in her hit You Bring Me Joy. Drink that line in for a second. – in ALL her life though?! I have a huge imagination, and I picture a man smiling his tail off at a woman spitting some game like this to him. You can also take Chaka Khan’s iconic classic Sweet Thang or Patti LaBelle’s Somebody Loves You Baby – I can go on and on with you, but I’m sure you get it. These women were flirting with their men or at least giving us women a blueprint of some things to say to sweeten up with ours.
Flirting isn’t and shouldn’t be limited to strangers or people who are just getting acquainted. It’s just as important, if not more, to flirt with your partner when you’re in a relationship. Flirtologist Jean Smith explained why flirting with your partner matters. She states it “reminds ourselves, and each other, that there are other facets to our lives than just the day-to-day grind.”
I’ll take it a step further and put it like this – if one of your love languages is Words of Affirmation, then loving your significant other in that specific language is important. Walk past him, then double back with a compliment, or giving your guy the eye and telling him how yummy he looks after a fresh haircut goes a long way. The last thing people in relationships should do is lose the energy they put into getting their partners, then forget it once they have them. Kash Doll said it best “Never introduce me to a vibe you can’t maintain.”
So, ladies and gents, it’s harmless flirting to make someone’s day by sending them a drink at the bar than walking away or sending a heart-eyed emoji to your long time Bae. Flirting is important because it sets a clear intention and makes the person you’re interested in feel good.
Until next time good people,
That’s the Way ShayMo Sees It