There has been so much going on in my life this month and planning my first quarter goals. I have my first speaking engagement this Saturday, where i will be sharing my story. Although I’m excited im extremely nervous as well because it’s out of my comfort zone to be that authentic in front of a crowd especially about fibro. Writing the speech for that has been a bit rough.. I am getting ready to go to fashion week the first week of February. And on top of all that planning, i am planning a new campaign. Im not going to lie I’ve been a little overwhelmed the past two weeks and its been making me sick.
So it’s been raining the past two days, which means my body feels the need to go into one of its moods. Today I woke up really really tender to touch, bones aching but still, there is work I needed to complete so I don’t have time to focus on that. I’ve been experiencing swollen ribs that feel bruised and burns to touch.
Okay, here it is 4 am and I’m awakened by excruciating pain and tears… When I went to sleep it was mainly my left side, ribs that were kinda swollen but burns to touch. In my sleep, I could feel that side swelling even more which intensified the pain drastically. Oh no, it couldn’t just stop there, the other side was starting to do the same exact thing… I’ve never experienced this kind of flare up before, what’s going on. Now I can’t even lay flat on my belly, or either side because it’s too painful, ok let’s try laying on my back… That was an epic fail as well, it hurts to breathe when I inhale and it feels like my ribs are going to just break and sink into my chest cavity…I really don’t want to have to go to the ER but if these meds don’t work that’s where I’ll be.
My frustration is an all type high, but somehow I have to ensure my spirit is at an all-time high as well. How do I do that? How do I find peace in this present moment? How do I stay inspired to make sure I accomplish everything I set out to do the first quarter? For starters, I pray, pray hard, pray harder and pray my hardest. I have to remind myself this is a fight to get those blessings that I’m praying for. If God brought me to it, he’ll bring me through it. I may get knocked around but I have to refuse to stay down.