The soft girl lifestyle has been picked up by many social media gurus not only as an aesthetic but an all-around lifestyle trend, hence its name. The concept of being a soft girl is essentially implementing things in your life to reduce stress and have more time in general for things that further help to relieve stress. A lot of the conversations encourage convenience, creating and sticking to boundaries, and tapping into your feminine energy.
But before I get into what I like about the soft girl lifestyle, I want to discuss a major critique of the trend.
An interesting observation about the soft girl lifestyle is that it appears to be heavily marketed towards younger black women. This is most likely because the soft girl lifestyle is a rebrand of the black girl luxury lifestyle. Black women, historically, have been deemed (among other things) as less feminine and more masculine compared to their white women counterparts. Both of these trends show black women in a softer light contrasting what most media has done in the past. Black women too can indulge in luxurious living.
Although luxury appears and may just well be the end goal of what a lot of people consider a “successful” and “comfortable” life, I personally don’t think that the soft girl life always has to equate to luxury. And although the internet allows us to view these exclusive lifestyles at our fingertips, the reality is that a lot of people will not reach this in their lifetime. And contrary to what the internet says, that is okay!
This is not to imply that black women do not deserve to enjoy luxury or even aim for this goal if that’s what you truly want. Black women take on enough mentally, physically, and emotionally already. But there is a sense of worth outside of luxury that I think elements of the soft girl life can help to ease everyday living.
It’s been almost a year since I have been living alone in a major city. I moved out of my childhood home where household chores were shared mainly among me, my sister, and my mom. Since I live by myself now, I have to do everything by myself which includes shopping for food, keeping my house together, laundry, cooking, etc. I love being independent and having the opportunity to do so, but doing all of this by myself all of the time on top of working full time and keeping up with less than positive news stories can become overwhelming.
One thing I think a lot of people can take away from the soft girl lifestyle is outsourcing tasks in favor of convenience. Whenever I know I’m going to have a busy weekend, I like using Instacart to have my groceries delivered to me and give me at least 2 hours of my day back. You can do this with other things such as laundry, house cleaning, and even running mundane errands by using apps such as task rabbit or joining online community groups dedicated to helping other people with tasks. I know I also like using my Amazon Prime membership to order even the smallest things sometimes, as long as it can wait at least a day.
Delegating tasks to other people can help relieve mental stress which can ultimately decrease your risk of physical ailments. Considering that these things are not free, maybe it is something that you can budget for every few weeks or once a month.
With more time on your hands, the trend encourages you to use it to do more things that you want to do. In this time, you can pamper yourself, work on some of your personal/career goals, or simply just rest. A busy and overworked girl is just as useless as a lazy one. Use outsourcing as a way to balance being too busy with just busy enough.
The soft girl lifestyle doesn’t have to be the epitome of luxury, but the opportunity to have more time equates to more freedom for ease of everyday living.